I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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