get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
