The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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