I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
