god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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