Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
