Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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