Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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