when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
