i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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