the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
"it" just moved
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
