none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
