i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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