I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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