Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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