Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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