piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
