Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
