SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
