Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
