No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
