just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You've changed since you got that strap on
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
