Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
