I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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