how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Two words: blizzard sex
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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