Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
