So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
