remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
