just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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