he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize