We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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