Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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