I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
