My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
