I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
