hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
