Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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