to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
