i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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