Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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