is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
