I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My life is pants optional.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
