whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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