so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
