butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
