Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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