how can u be prego again
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
