Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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