Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize