he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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